The math is the hardest thing…

Despite getting a CS degree, working as a data scientist, and now pursuing my MS in AI, math has never made much sense to me. I took the required classes as an undergrad, but made my way through them with tutoring sessions, chegg subscriptions for textbook answers, and an unhealthy amount of luck. This all came to a head earlier this year when I wanted to see if I could remember how to do derivatives and I completely blanked and the math in the papers I have to read is like a foreign language to me and it doesn’t make sense.

To be honest, it is quite embarrassing to be this far into my career/program without understanding these things at a fundamental level. I am now at a point, about halfway through my master’s, that I realize that I cannot conceivably work in this field in the future without a solid understanding of more advanced math.

Now that the summer break is coming up, I have dedicated some time towards learning the fundamentals again, starting with brushing up on any Algebra concepts I forgot and going through the classic Stewart Single Variable Calculus book before moving on to some more advanced subjects. But I need something more, like a goal that will help me become motivated.

For those of you who are very comfortable with the math, what makes that difference? Should I just study the books, or is there a genuine way to connect it to what I am learning in my MS program? While I am genuinely embarrassed about this situation, I am intensely eager to learn and turn my summer into a math bootcamp if need be.

Thank you all in advance for the help!